goat walks into a bar…

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(photo via bbaltimore’s photostream)

a super huge thank you to everyone who kept us entertained today with the jokes and riddles. there was a bit of everything from laffy taffy wrapper jokes to dirty jokes to jokes tailored specifically for the last wandering goat dinner. so obviously, we’ve gotta share a few…

from trish (and our first of the day):
A Cubs fan, a goat and a Three Floyds beer must be taken to the other side of the river. You have a boat, which is not large enough to take more than one of them.
If you leave the Cubs fan with the goat, the Cubs fan will eat the goat out of spite from not winning a World Series in more than 100 years.
If you leave the goat with the beer, the beer will be drank.

Answer:
First take the goat to the other side and row back.
Then take the Cubs fan to the other side, and take the goat in the boat with you when you return.
You get the goat ashore. Then you put the beer in the boat and take it to the other side, where you leave it with the Cubs fan and then row back.
Finally you take the goat into the boat and take it across.

from colleen (did you come up with this one!?!):
Frank, the lonely Bucktown hipster, decided he needed a pet for companionship. No ordinary pet would do, of course, so he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted something unusual. After some discussion, Frank bought a centipede.

He toted the little dude home, got it all set up in a nice Converse high-tops box, and decided it might be nice to take his new pet to Girl and the Goat for a celebratory dinner. He leaned toward the box and asked, “Would you like to go to Stephanie Izard’s new place for dinner?”

No answer from the box. Frank furrowed his brow, waited a few minutes and then asked again, “How about dinner at Girl and the Goat?”

Again, no answer. Frank, perturbed, decided to ask one more time. “HEY in there, dammit! Would you like to go to Girl and the Goat?”

A little voice came out of the box:
“I heard you the first time! I’m putting my f@%&ing shoes on!”

from skylar (though not a food joke):
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. She walks past the driver who says “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen!” The woman, horrified, goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off.  Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

but, when it came down to it, there was one joke that resembled too closely only the best joke of all time…

steph’s favorite joke:
‘knock knock’
‘who’s there?’
‘smell mop’
‘smell mop who?’

and the funny thing is, we got the joke twice! so, from erin and also colleen, here’s the winner…

What do you call cheese that’s not yours?

NACHO CHEESE!

thanks again to everyone who wrote in today. this was tough tough tough. still, we really did have a blast, and to our winners, the goat’s hoping you’ll have a few more of these come wednesday night. and, congratulations!!


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